It's Wednesday night, and things are looking up.

When I posted yesterday, I was just about to descend into the lowest low I've had since I left home and made my way out here. Shortly after I logged off the computer, I met with another girl from my program to try to finalize plans for Turkey (they're still not finalized), and then, I dropped by a grocery store to get myself some snacks. Neither of those activities are traumatic in any way, but nevertheless, I felt my mood dropping quickly through the afternoon. Being alone in Amman just started to get to me.

I was tired of always being lost and confused, and of being unable to eat/drink during the day, and more than anything, of being harassed any time I stepped out the door. It seems like literally every man I walk past has some appalling comment, sound, or gesture to share with me, and both cab drivers I had yesterday spend the entire ride trying to convince me to be their American wife. I had developed a permanent scowl whenever walking outside, and as well as an extreme abhorrence for all members of the male sex.

As a result of this dissatisfied grumpiness, I spent a good 24 hours in my hostel without leaving. Yep, a full day - Monday afternoon to Tuesday afternoon. I knew it was ridiculous, but I was in too much of a funk to motivate myself to do anything. All I wanted to do was empty my bank account and buy myself a plane ticket going anywhere else.

Luckily, after a late night skype session with the wonderful Jessica Gonzalez, my spirits picked up a little. Today, after sleeping in quite late (considering Jessica and I talked until around 5 AM or so, I didn't feel too bad about that), I fortified myself with a couple of hours of drinking tea, eating peanut butter out of the jar, and listening to Justin Timberlake, then summoned up as much spirit as I could, and went back outside. As expected, I was yelled at by 95% of the men I passed, and I got so lost walking that I had to take a taxi, but now, I'm in a cafe, using the free wifi and sipping on some refreshing mint lemonade. I'm hoping I'll have the perseverance to awkwardly stay here through dinner time, and then, if all goes well, I'll head to the Royal Film Society for a free screening.

I'm determined to enjoy myself. And I have faith I can do so, with the help of friends like Jessica and JT. The other girls come back on Friday, so I only have like a day and half left by myself. Let's do this.