Home?

I should be working on my study abroad grant application... but I'm too tired to pretend I'm passionate about national security, so I'm here instead.

I'm home, and I'm overwhelmed by mixed emotions. I'm glad to be here, glad to be near the ocean, near people I love. But there are some people I don't want to see, some memories I don't want to be reminded of, loneliness I don't want to confront. I'm missing Boston more than I expected.

I need rest. I thought I would find it here. But I'm unsettled and confused and crying too much. I have not lost sight of the joy in my life, I know it's there, I just hope I can find a peaceful place within myself soon. I need rest.

If you're in California, please let me see you while I'm here; if you're a BC student at home elsewhere in the country, talk to me. I love you and want to know how you are. I probably miss you.

I hope to hear from you soon.