Daybreak 12/19

I wrote this on my program while sitting in church yesterday... it wasn't a particularly sad morning at all, I just wanted to record some thoughts that had been floating around in my head and it seemed like a good time to do so:


There is a current of sorrow which runs through my mind, my spirit. It is always there, flowing around my intricate inner workings, keeping the soil in which my heart knowledge grows fresh and fertile. At times, the river's waters rise, lapping at the banks, spilling out as secret tears, silently slipping out of my soul in those quiet, solemn moments alone. These melancholy surges of the water are challenging and difficult, but they keep me human; they are beautiful and necessary. But there are also days when the river floods too quickly, when the banks cannot contain the deluge, when waves of despair rush through my consciousness and overwhelm me. Such moments may seize me at any time, and suddenly I am drowning in my own emotion. These experiences may be just as necessary, just as unavoidable, but they threaten my humanity, threaten to carry me away from the rare but resplendent joy which punctuates my life. These are the moments I fear and which I am constantly trying to fortify myself against. If you are near, help me anchor myself in truth and love, for I need all the assistance I can get.