Some nonsense.

I had the most unproductive day ever at Catholic Charities. It was pointless for me to be there, and I ended up slipping out two hours early. BUT...

It is raining outside, and I am finally inside, warm and cozy and armed with a spicy mug of tea. I'm listening to Joni Mitchell's voice mix subtly with the sound of drops on my window; my favorite song has just come on, and I am alone and delighted and calm for the first time in some weeks. My favorite subway station performer, a violinist whose oft-ignored songs move me to tears, was unexpectedly playing where the red and green lines meet, and where I lingered today before getting on the second train of my commute. I wouldn't have seen him if I hadn't left early in a fit of frustration and boredom. I started and finished my reading for tomorrow's English class on the T this morning, and for once it seems possible that I can get my work done.

Many of you confuse me, frustrate me, worry me, but I love you anyway. Yes, you, especially you. You don't listen, or you don't talk, or you lie to me, or you hurt me, or you misunderstand me, or you refuse to admit your fear, or you are blinded by your arrogance, or you make excuses for who you are, or you deny your own brilliance, or you ignore mine, or you disappoint me, or you forget what really matters, but I love you. Yes, you. You cannot comprehend this, but it's true; the inscrutability of it is what makes it true.

I thank You God for most this amazing world; for the possibility of the coexistence of suffering and joy; for the grace You bestow upon me in every moment, through every person, through the miracle of my own deeds, when they are actually Yours and not mine; for beauty and sensory pleasures and human concern and specks of hope which glimmer like the darkest night's stars; for the simultaneously occurring utter meaninglessness and complete significance of it all; for the freedom to stupidly express my simple thoughts here, there, and everywhere; for the rare instants such as these, which give order to the rest of the hours and days and years and forevers.